Friday, June 30, 2006

One long and two shorts


Next week I will attend a speech by Bobby R. Inman the previous Director of the National Security Agency. The NSA has been collecting domestic communications since the attack on 9-11. President Bush instructed the NSA to access voice and internet traffic passing through AT&T, Verizon and Bell South's pipes. This smacks of the Richard Nixon 1970 era of surveillance of journalist and political enemies except this time it is being carried out on the general public. Both Presidents were republicans who passed the courts and relied on the cooperation of the US telecommunications companies. Now the US Senate is in a tizzy, attacking AT&T for giving the phone records of everyday law abiding citizens to the NSA.
During my childhood years and even during the Cuban missile crises of the early 60's when the US was sure the Russians were going to fire a missile from Cuba and turn Florida into vapor, did we have to worry about the government listening in on our conversations. Our neighbors were another matter. The wire tap of my childhood was called a party line and lots of people had them because the cost could be spread out over several connections, making telephone communication affordable for working class and farm families. My family spent summers in a small cabin in the country and the cabin had a telephone connected to a party line that was shared by many other families. Each family was assigned a distinctive ring, like two longs and one short or three shorts and one long. When any household on the line received a call, it's ring sounded in every house on the line. I can just hear my mom say "don't answer that phone, that's for Mrs So&So". How did she know that one short and three longs was for the So&SO house? Sometimes the same one short and three longs would ring several times a day. Oftentimes I wondered what Mrs So&SO had so much to talk about and wanted to easedrop on the conversation. You could always tell when someone was listening to the conversation because you would hear a click when they picked up the phone. When you heard that click you automatilly stoped talking or at least stopped talking about family secretes. Even worse than a party line was an extension line. This was the case for the phone in our house in the small Central Texas town I lived in. Small is putting it mildly, our phone number only consisted of three numbers. When someone called those three numbers not only did the phone ring at our house but it rang at several other houses and also rang three phones at my Dad's business. Unlike a party line there were no distinctive rings so when the extension line rang at least half a dozen people picked their phones up and listened to the conversation. Today we call that a conference call and make a big deal out of it, back then it was just an ever day thing. One of those extensions was in the garage at my Dad's business and I listened in on conversations from that extension many times. There is just something about the listening to someone's conversation when they do not know you are listening to them. Do you think I might be a little bit of a snoop? Yes I am, we all are!
The party line and extension line of my childhood are all but extinct. Today easedropping has become more sophisticated allowing the government to listen in on the masses. There is no need for one long and three shorts anymore nor is there a need for court ordered wire taps before AT&T, Verizon and Bell South lets the NSA listen to our telecommunications.
If only we could turn back the hands of time! All you used to have to do when you caught someone listening to your conversation was say "Hang the phone up, it's not for you" and you would hear a click letting you know the person that had been listening was off the line and could not hear your secrets anymore. Today if you were to say "Hang the phone up, it's not for you" the only thing your likely to hear is laughter coming from a government agent somewhere on the line.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Fourth and Ten you're fired

The NFL Gods are at it once again. The worlds most successful sports league will name a new commissioner this summer. Several people have talked of tossing their helment into the ring along with several others thinking about the toss. The US Secretary of State, Condolezza Rice has made it very plain she would love to have the job. Condi, just because you can deal with Vladimir Putin what makes you think you can confront Al Davis or Jerry Jones? Besides the good old boy network of the NFL has already been threatened with a lawsuit about their hiring of minorities, I don't think there is a chance in hell they would hire a black female to be their figure head. Florida Gov Jeb Bush has also put out overtures he might be interested in the job if the NFL can wait until Janunary when his term in Florida is up. I don't think confronting national disasters is a good qualification, the NFL does not even have a team named the Hurricanes. What about the allegations he help fudge the voter rolls? I guess if the NFL was headquartered in Las Vegas the so called fudge might be a good qualification but the NFL will not go near Vegas! If Jeb wants a commissioners job he should apply for the Baseball job. The best baseball players all come from South America and with Jeb fluency in Spanish he would surely be a good baseball comissioner. What about Al Gore, he needs a job. No! he can not tear himself away from the global warming thing. What about Al's buddy Bill Clinton. The NFL is not stupid they would not let Bill get within 100 yards of their cheer leaders.
If my name was on the back of one of those God chairs, I would pound my fist on the table and demand Donald Trump become the NFL commissioner. As a mortal I will admit to a little selfcenteredness but as a God not only would I be running over with selfcenteredness I would be filled with a lot of self promotion. The Donald would be foever grateful and grant my every wish. I can just see the Donald now, walking around the room, pointing his finger and yelling " You're Fired ". I would make sure the first person he fired was the former chief of Disney, Michael Eisner. Elmer Fud Eisner took Monday Night Football off of ABC were it was free for everyone and put it on ESPN were everyone has to pay the cable company big bucks just to see the Monday night game. Really don't know what I am complaining about, I can't even stay awake for the second half kick off on Monday nights!
Donald Trump is the best man for the job. He sure knows how to fire people and sonner or latter Jerrry Jones is going to demand we all pay to watch the Cowboys. If the Donald was in my corner I could demand he march right up to Jerry and yell " You're Fired "
The NFL Gods will pick who ever they want for the commissioners job. All the smucks including myself will have to live with what ever bones the NFL throws us. I just wish they would blow the whistle and let the dog war, I mean football game begin.

Friday, June 16, 2006

Get a Rope

Do we really need to wait until September to find out how many years the Enron Boys will have to serve in prison? Normally I am a bleeding heart when it comes to long prison terms but an appropriate sentence for Ken Lay with his million dollar smile and Jeffrey Skilling with his cold viper eyes might be a trillion years. It's about time a symbol for the shame of modern American capitalism be served up. It looks like these two guys will do the time for all the other corporate titans and financial con men that got away.
Justice works in strange ways. Perhaps this one time we need to amplify the point made by the swift and sure conviction in that Texas courtroom. Scapegoating will never be enough to smooth the public feathers and public hanging was outlawed a long time ago. If you can not do the time do not do the crime still rings true today. Just because you commit a crime while wearing a suit doesn't change the amount of time you must spend in prison if you get caught. These two men didn't rob a 7-11 with a gun, they didn't rape your daughter or kill someone, they robed the general public with a pen and a computer. Maybe a trillion years is a little too harsh but it sure needs to be longer than the slap on the wrist that Martha Sterwert got, she never even stopped baking cookies!
It all boils down to greed and all of us have a little if not a lot of that in our souls even if we want to admit it or not. I do not claim to know the souls of Lay or Skilling but I sure know greed was in there somewhere. They both had more money than most people could ever imagine but they still wanted more so they ate and ate till they ate the goose that layed the golden egg.
Enron has vanished as though it was never there. The conviction last month and the announcement of the prison terms in September will be closure for a lot of people who were victimized by the Enron Boys. Those victims will never get their money back so it's best they try and find a little humor in the Enron demise and get on with life. The "I GOT LAY'D BY ENRON" t shirts that can be found selling on E Bay may be the only laugh they will ever be able to muster but at least there will be closure of the Enron nightmare when the judge sentences Kennrth Lay and Jeffrey Skilling in September.

Friday, June 09, 2006

Master Yoda do you know where I can buy a lightsaber


It used to be a novelty but now I see them all the time. I'm talking about people who have a cell phone the size of one's thumb hanging from their ear. They all seem to be carrying on a conversation with an imaginary object in space. Everytime I am standing next to one of these people I am waiting to hear the phrase "Beam me up Scotty" at any time. Even worse are the people who have a smart phone or PDA the size of a paperback book strapped to their belt. Everybody has a cell phone and they are always looking at the screen , not paying attention to their surroundings. A few years ago the only time you had to worry about a cell phone conversation was when you drove up behind or along side someone while they were talking on the phone. These days not only do you have to be on the lookout for cell phone drivers who are driving 30 mph under the speed limit but also the phone talkers walking around in public that have no clue where they are and will walk right into you or even worse a fixed object
Some will argue that we have reached the end of the PC/Laptop and other digital devices don't belong to the PC/Laptop. The PC model that fueled the incredible popularity and affordable of the internet will continue to drive the evolution of and choice in personal devices such as the cell phone, digital players and mobile PC The evolution in communication devices is no different than the evolution of the TV or automobile but I don't have an automobile or TV standing next to me when I order coffee at Starbucks. Sometimes I just want to pull out my lightsaber and slice off an ear sending that ear phone flying to Starbucks in a galaxy far far away. The ear phone people are always ordering a drink with at least 25 words in it's name and about the time they get the 20th word out they have to take a new call and start all over with their order. If there was such a thing as a lightsaber I would make sure mine always had a full charge and was set to the vaporise mode everytime I entered a public building. With a lighsaber holstered to my leg the ear phone people would stand aside when I ordered black coffee.
Who am I to stand in the way of evolution? I could still be swinging through the trees like my ancestors or even worse eating apples in the Garden of Eden. Never cared too much for apples and I know there was not a Starbucks in the Garden of Eden. Someday I may be an ear phone phone person or at least a smart phone person but the only reason I would ever have one of those devices is so I could call the person standing next to me at the Starbucks counter and tell him his house was on fire. He would rush out the door and my black coffee would be served right up faster than I could pull my lightsaber.

Friday, June 02, 2006

Will you still need me when I am 64

Sir Paul McCartney should have read Life without a white pickett fence before he married Heather Mills. Now divorce lies ahead for the separated couple. This marriage was a perfect example of the wrong woman marrying the right man. No woman ever seems good enough for our heroes. Paul McCartney is not just a man nor even a musical genius, he is a figure in our psyche. He is a figure for the hopes and dreams of the entire baby boomer generation.
Sir Paul was almost 60 and Heather was 34 when they got married. I am a big fan of a younger much younger woman in a marriage but any way you look at this union it says young beautiful blond marries rich, famous , older, family man along with warning signs attached that read gold digger-publicity seeker-children from the first marriage horrified-wicked stepmother- etc,etc.
What was Paul thinking? Was he even thinking at all? Who wants a one legged gold digger anyway! Paul sure did because he stood up and said " I DO " and those two words are going to cost him at least $500 million. Paul have you forgotten the words you wrote over forty years ago?
When I get older, losing my hair many years from now
Will you still need me, will you still feed me when I am 64
John Lennon's words about life sums up the divorce of Paul and Heather perfectly.
Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they're here to stay
Oh I believe in yesterday
Suddenly I am half the man I used to be
There's a shadow hanging over me
Oh yesterday came suddenly
Why she had to go I don't know she wouldn't say
I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday
Yesterday love was such an easy game to play now I need a place to hide away
Oh I believe in yesterday.