How often does anyone roast a turkey? Only one day out of 364 does a turkey get shoved into America's ovens. It's almost as though we swear off the bird all but one day a year. I don't hate turkey, not secretly anyway but by December 1 I've had my fill of the bird. There is one thing about turkey I really like. It gives us all an excuse to eat as much stuffing, rolls, gravy, sweet potatoes and pie as any human could possible eat in one setting. We should enjoy our food without over thinking the whole process. It's best that our inter diet rebel be kept tied up on Thanksgiving day keeping us from thinking about what we should not have eaten. I am lucky never having to employ a constant on-off eating style or a on-off guilt trip when it comes to weight. If I find myself standing in front of the fridge looking for leftovers I don't hear a voice in my head saying " No you really don't need that second piece of pie or another plate of turkey and dressing. You will never her me say "I ate too much" but when or if that thought ever crosses my mind I'll have a smile on my face.
I know one does not have to eat turkey on Thanksgiving day but most people think you have to have it and I will admit I can not ever remember a Thanksgiving day without it. I've eaten it off of china, styrofoam and even cardboard but there are a few parts of the turkey I will not eat. Never say never, I guess if I were hungry enough I would eat the feet, comb and innards but I'm not starving yet.
Not being terrible religious nor much of a shopper, the Christmas holiday season leaves me pretty cold especially since it starts before Halloween. Thanksgiving is a holiday I can really get behind. It's a holiday that celebrates belt loosening, gluttony and family, three of the best pleasures any human can ever experience.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Friday, November 21, 2008
The Great Sucking Sound
Almost everyone knows someone who has lost a job because of the economy. What started out as a trickle ten years ago has turned into a tidal wave today. That Great Sucking sound of job losses that Rose Perot predicted has become deafening. It started with manufacturing and general labor then spread to accounting, computers, and finally the financial sector. Businesses are in love with cheap labor, the cheaper the better and they will go to the ends of the earth to find it.
Everyone loves a bargain is the primary reason jobs go over seas. Even though the quality is not as good as we can produce in America the labor cost differential more than makes up for the lesser quality. America simply can not compete in the global labor market due to our high cost of living. In a lot of countries of American offshore labor, $9 an hour gets you a lifestyle of a king but in America $9 an hour assures you a spot in the working underclass who's living standards are shrinking at an astonishing rate. Housing prices, food, utilities and the rest of indispensable mandatory cost are rising so fast it does not take much of a brain to know things are going to get a lot worse.
America will either have to accept job insecurity and continue to be a nation of haves and have nots with nothing in between or give up on the globalizing of the work force. Forcing Corporate America to do the latter is like asking a crack head to give up crack, its not going to happen.
Everyone loves a bargain is the primary reason jobs go over seas. Even though the quality is not as good as we can produce in America the labor cost differential more than makes up for the lesser quality. America simply can not compete in the global labor market due to our high cost of living. In a lot of countries of American offshore labor, $9 an hour gets you a lifestyle of a king but in America $9 an hour assures you a spot in the working underclass who's living standards are shrinking at an astonishing rate. Housing prices, food, utilities and the rest of indispensable mandatory cost are rising so fast it does not take much of a brain to know things are going to get a lot worse.
America will either have to accept job insecurity and continue to be a nation of haves and have nots with nothing in between or give up on the globalizing of the work force. Forcing Corporate America to do the latter is like asking a crack head to give up crack, its not going to happen.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Liberal Philosophy
The election season has finally come to an end. If you are an avid reader of Laywell's Lamp you are probably saying to your self "what's this liberal going to write about now that the Presidential election is over". I will admit, I have many liberal philosophies but my values are a mixture, some on the right, some on the left and some falling in no particular spectrum at all. I really don't know what being totally liberal stands for these days but I am pretty sure I've been one all my adult life. I've smoked too much marijuana and smelled too much incense to be anything other than a liberal but even with all that smoke that floated through the air over the years I have always tried to be as opened minded as possible. I don't ever want to be accused of clinging to the past when trying to understand the future. People who do that are stupid and do not deserve a vote but thankfully I don't get to decide who gets a vote.
Never fear there will be other elections but the readers of the Lamp will not see a change in my philosophy of life. I believe in the constitution and so far that document has proven to be a pretty good one giving me the right to have any philosophy I want.
Never fear there will be other elections but the readers of the Lamp will not see a change in my philosophy of life. I believe in the constitution and so far that document has proven to be a pretty good one giving me the right to have any philosophy I want.
Friday, November 07, 2008
Send Her Home in a Pair of Flop Flops
On a good day I am a smart and tolerant person. On a bad day I am stupid and have a better then thou attitude. But even on one of my bad days I usually come to my senses sooner or later and revert back to a smart and tolerant person. Doesn't every person wish they could take back a few of their bad days? I'll be willing to bet right about now the Republican National Committee would like to take back their stupid decision to spend $75,000 at Neiman Marcus and $50,000 at Saks Fifth Avenue for a two month wardrobe for Sarah Palin. Senator McCain how many houses do you own? Surly your wife could have found something for Mrs. Palin to wear. Your nine houses must have a total of at least one hundred and fifty closets, surly the Caribou Queen could have found something that would fit her. It gets very cold in Alaska making clothes a necessity but I don't think there is a single Neimans or Saks in the entire state. Granted all women need to look good but Sarah Palin is not in the same class as Paris Hilton. Mrs Palin doesn't even have blonde hair although I would not mind seeing her in a blonde wig. OK, so I have good days, bad days and kinky days doesn't everyone?
If you are choking on all this absurdity you must be thinking a typical male just can not relate to the real pursuit of happiness, clothes, shoes and handbags. You can call me Joe the Plumber if you must but if I was married and my wife came home with a $150,000 wardrobe I would just go ahead and hang myself by tieing a rope around my balls and throwing it over the nearest tree. At least if I was a gonner I would not have to answer all those "Who wears the pants in your family" questions. I know that a relationship is suppose to be 50-50 and sometimes one ball is better than no balls at all but there comes a time when even Cinderella needs to be stripped of her party clothes.
All dressed up with no place to go will be the Republicans epitaph for 2008. They did not see that spending $150,000 for VP clothing while Americans were losing their homes, jobs and life savings was a stupid and greater than thou moment. If they had been in touch with the lives of real Americans, their VP candidate would have been wearing jeans and flip flops just like every other American woman does but then again Republicans don't shop at Old Navy and Pay Less.
Over the years I have learned that if you want to keep at least one of your balls, never ever say an unkind word about your female companion's wardrobe. Just be grateful they paint their toe nails and when the times comes they want to paint yours just go along with the program because that one time paint job will insure that every time you put your hands in your pants, you be able to find your balls!
If you are choking on all this absurdity you must be thinking a typical male just can not relate to the real pursuit of happiness, clothes, shoes and handbags. You can call me Joe the Plumber if you must but if I was married and my wife came home with a $150,000 wardrobe I would just go ahead and hang myself by tieing a rope around my balls and throwing it over the nearest tree. At least if I was a gonner I would not have to answer all those "Who wears the pants in your family" questions. I know that a relationship is suppose to be 50-50 and sometimes one ball is better than no balls at all but there comes a time when even Cinderella needs to be stripped of her party clothes.
All dressed up with no place to go will be the Republicans epitaph for 2008. They did not see that spending $150,000 for VP clothing while Americans were losing their homes, jobs and life savings was a stupid and greater than thou moment. If they had been in touch with the lives of real Americans, their VP candidate would have been wearing jeans and flip flops just like every other American woman does but then again Republicans don't shop at Old Navy and Pay Less.
Over the years I have learned that if you want to keep at least one of your balls, never ever say an unkind word about your female companion's wardrobe. Just be grateful they paint their toe nails and when the times comes they want to paint yours just go along with the program because that one time paint job will insure that every time you put your hands in your pants, you be able to find your balls!
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