Too Much to Often

Self diagnoses is hard to face but it is always the beginning for looking at problems that crop up during a humans lifetime. So far the biggest problem in my life is alcoholism. It took years of alcohol abuse and dependence before I was ready to self diagnose that part of my life. I began to see I craved a drink at certain times of the day, I drank alone and drank to escape worries and troubles. I drank in hazardous situations like driving and drank to feel comfortable during social obligations. I drank at home or work, it made no difference. I don't know when I moved from abuse to dependence, all I know is the snow ball kept getting bigger and bigger and was racing down the hill faster and faster. I drank more, longer and could not stop when I wanted to. As long as I did not make too large a fool of myself, drink as soon as I crawled out of bed every morning and was able to pay my bills I kept up the drinking pace. My solution was to keep raising my bottom so I would not have to fall as far before I hit the bottom but my behavior and attitude was spiraling down faster than I could lower my standards.
Too much too often all the time is the best way to describe my drinking career but I am not alone in that diagnoses. Millions of humans are alcoholics but only a small percent are willing to admit to it and even fewer are ever willing to ask for and accept help. I am one of the lucky ones who was willing to ask for and accept that help and today I celebrate 9 years of sobriety. As much as like to drink, today's 9 years of continues sobriety is a monumental feat and one that I would never have been able to achieve without accepting the diagnose of my disease.