Send Her Home in a Pair of Flop Flops

On a good day I am a smart and tolerant person. On a bad day I am stupid and have a better then thou attitude. But even on one of my bad days I usually come to my senses sooner or later and revert back to a smart and tolerant person. Doesn't every person wish they could take back a few of their bad days? I'll be willing to bet right about now the Republican National Committee would like to take back their stupid decision to spend $75,000 at Neiman Marcus and $50,000 at Saks Fifth Avenue for a two month wardrobe for Sarah Palin. Senator McCain how many houses do you own? Surly your wife could have found something for Mrs. Palin to wear. Your nine houses must have a total of at least one hundred and fifty closets, surly the Caribou Queen could have found something that would fit her. It gets very cold in Alaska making clothes a necessity but I don't think there is a single Neimans or Saks in the entire state. Granted all women need to look good but Sarah Palin is not in the same class as Paris Hilton. Mrs Palin doesn't even have blonde hair although I would not mind seeing her in a blonde wig. OK, so I have good days, bad days and kinky days doesn't everyone?
If you are choking on all this absurdity you must be thinking a typical male just can not relate to the real pursuit of happiness, clothes, shoes and handbags. You can call me Joe the Plumber if you must but if I was married and my wife came home with a $150,000 wardrobe I would just go ahead and hang myself by tieing a rope around my balls and throwing it over the nearest tree. At least if I was a gonner I would not have to answer all those "Who wears the pants in your family" questions. I know that a relationship is suppose to be 50-50 and sometimes one ball is better than no balls at all but there comes a time when even Cinderella needs to be stripped of her party clothes.
All dressed up with no place to go will be the Republicans epitaph for 2008. They did not see that spending $150,000 for VP clothing while Americans were losing their homes, jobs and life savings was a stupid and greater than thou moment. If they had been in touch with the lives of real Americans, their VP candidate would have been wearing jeans and flip flops just like every other American woman does but then again Republicans don't shop at Old Navy and Pay Less.
Over the years I have learned that if you want to keep at least one of your balls, never ever say an unkind word about your female companion's wardrobe. Just be grateful they paint their toe nails and when the times comes they want to paint yours just go along with the program because that one time paint job will insure that every time you put your hands in your pants, you be able to find your balls!