Mayonnaise! Don't put no stinking mayonnaise on my burger

If you want a good hamburger in Austin just ask any Austinite who lives south of the river and they will start talking about Mr. and Mrs Hamburger. They are referring to Dan and Fran who were once married to each other and had a number of hamburger stands around Austin. Like most marriages theirs did not last so they split up the sheets, pots & pans and their hamburger stands. So now when you want a good burger in Austin you either go to Dan's or Fran's. The burgers are the same at both places although I think Fran puts more pickles on her burgers.
What makes a great burger? Everybody has their own opinion. A burger is more than the sum of it's parts. You take a bite of all of it at once, the meat, the bun, the condiments and any other of its additions such as lettuce and tomato. You should be able to add all the sensations up in just one bite. The beef should be ground chuck because chuck has just the right amount of fat. The patty should be thick enough so it can be charred yet remain moist. The bun is a crucial component, I like mine slightly toasted. Burgers are finger foods so the bun among it's other virtues keeps the hands dry and lets you pick up the meat without wishing you had a wet towel. I don't pretend to have sampled every burger joint but I know that if a burger is too big to fit into your mouth, hold in your hand or you need a knife and fork to eat it, well that's the last time I'll be eating at that burger joint.Those cookie cutter burger joints that sell burgers who's buns are as thin as Kleenex and patties that are thin and dry should all be concentrated in New York City because Yankees don't know a hamburger from a hockey puck. Besides a Yankee would not be caught dead in Fran's South Congress location, they would think the place needs to be condemned. That's just fine with Fran, she does not have to buy mayonnaise.