A Tree Will Stop You Every Time

The Masters Golf Tournament begins this week and with it the world's number one golfer will attempt to put a little pretty bow on his return to public life. After a self imposed exile he's going back to business as usual. Tiger Woods road to social recovery lies in America's belief that his philandering ways are long gone. His resurrection from the drags of society is possible but it's going to take more than saying he is sorry!
Tiger you are no different from other men who cheat on their wives, you are the scum of the earth. I don't care how good you play golf or how nice of a person your friends and sponsors say you are. If I hear you say one more time "I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, Dammit I said I was sorry" I think I'll throw up!
My advice to you is simple. Forget about golf for awhile and work on whats left of your marriage. Don't tell your wife she's damaged good and what every you do don't reminder her that Florida is a no fault divorce state. You better tell her you want what ever makes her comfortable because thats whats going to happen anyway. Forget about that control thing because you don't have any and may never have any. Don't be so smug as to think that if you win the Masters you can go from cheater to champion in the blink of an eye, it's not going to happen.
Most people value achievement so if you do what you do better than anyone else, the world will forget about your philandering ways. If Bill Clinton can do it you can do it also just don't buy any cigars when you win the Master Golf Tournament. Keep your golf clubs under lock and key or the next time your wife will swing at your head instead of the windows in your Cadillac. Last but not least don't give your wife an excuse to chase you out the driveway because you'll just drive your Cadillac into another tree and you know what trees do, they stop you every time.