A Ball of Boredom

Once every four years the World Cup Soccer tournament kicks off. The tournament is the world's most watched sporting event. It is more popular than the Olympics or any sporting event in America but I have never been able to appreciate it's popularity or for that matter, enjoy watching any of it's many soccer matches. Every four years I make a point to watch at very least a match involving the USA in hopes I will be able to muster up some sort of appreciation for the sport of soccer. This year one of the first matches involved USA playing England. The Americans had not played the Brits in a World Cup match in sixty years so I figured for that reason alone the soccer match would stretch the boundaries of boredom enough that I could enjoy the match. Needless to say the outcome of the match between the two ending in a 1-1 draw only reinforced my perceived feelings of shear boredom. The Brits can keep the game they invented on their side of the Atlantic. I'll watch American Major League Baseball when I want to watch paint dry.
In a sport where the ball rarely finds the goal all I ever seem to find is boredom. It seems the whole sport is not about how a team can win via a well placed kick rather winning is based on finding a weakness that will likely be fatal to an opponent. I don't get any enjoyment out of being a pessimist while trying to root for a champion so even twenty two pairs of feet running around on a field as big as Texas does not stir my blood. Maybe I should have been a General! When it comes to a sporting event just give me a game plan so I can root for a team and expect a score every once in a while. Don't expect me to set through almost two hours of non stop collected chaos, my limited attention span just can't handle that. No timeouts, few starts and stops, no time for coaches to call a scripted play or hollow for a substitute! When the heck I'am I suppose to go to the bathroom?
I don't know why I am complaining so much, the National Football League begins play in less than two months. Now there is a game plan I can live with and you can bet I'll be able to kick the boredom out of that ball.