Small Town USA

I never liked living in a small town. The ambiance or what everyone called ambiance was non existence. I hated the history even more. I am not really talking about the history of buildings per se although there is that and I liked it. It's the history that native town folk use to describe everything and everyone. Giving directions is a perfect example. "Go down Main street or what ever it's called, turn where the old grocery store used to be, turn left where the preacher used to live and go till you see the house with the yellow trim, then turn right there"
Then there is history used to explain odd behavior. Bill's Uncle Tom was just like that, he ran off with the preacher's wife. It's no wonder Bill left his wife and married his neighbor's wife.
Another history is every one's daily history. Say you need a hammer. You go to the hardware store where you see a sign that reads "Gone To Lunch" tapped to the front door of the hardware store. You know that the owner of the hardware store always eats lunch at the town cafe but when you arrive at the cafe you don't see the store owner. The cook knows you are looking for the hardware store owner because you are asking questions to the two carpenters setting at the counter. The cook tells you the hardware store owner has already come and gone. On your way driving to the hardware store you see the owner of the store and the two of you stop your cars in the middle of the street to discuss hammers. Cars go by on either side and nobody honks their horn. No one pays any attention to two cars stopped in the middle of the street, it an everyday occurrence.
I look back on the life of living in Small Town USA and wonder what outsiders thought of us. I don't think you can find humor in small town happenings without knowing the history three generations back and understanding that "History" is probably the result of everybody being related one way or another. Did I mention that history was my favorite subject in school while living in Small Town USA? I wonder if that was just a coincidence?