An Andy and Opie sort of thing

The Floyds of the world are slowly disappearing. Barbers don't ware white jackets anymore, they don't know your name, who your parents are, where you work or even what grade your in. A Barbershop is not even called a Barbershop anymore, it's a Salon and they are all full of female barbers who have caused disastrous impacts on society by creating divorce and dead beat Dads. I can't think of one good reason a man needs to go to a Salon.
Every few months I walk past the DeSpain Barbershop. It is on Main Street in a small Hill Country Town where real men still get their hair cut by real barbers. Just walking by the place the testosterone level will almost take your breath away. The barber chairs are made of white porcelain with leather seats. I'll even bet there is a stack of Newsweek, Sport Illustrated and hunting magazines in a pile on an end table.
It has been a very long time since I've been in a Barbershop like DeSpains or had a neck trim with a straight razor with hot shaving cream running down my neck. Unless they shave my head for brain surgery I don't think I'll ever have short hair like I did while I lived with my parents or even a reason to go to a real Barbershop
The closest I'll ever come to a Barbershop like DeSpains is when I am standing next to a barber pole or looking inside the Barbershop as I walk by. I am too old for that Andy and Opie thing to ever happen again but before I die I'll find a barber like Floyd and let him give me a neck trim with a straight razor and ask him to let the hot shaving cream run down my neck and into my collar.