Mirror Mirror on the wall Who's the best coach of them all

These are depressing times for America's Team. Once again the Boys were home for the Super Bowl holidays and this is getting to be a habit. Since Dallas won the 1996 Super Bowl, the club has won only one playoff game. I've almost forgotten how to say "How Bout Them Cowboys". This is not just a run of bad luck!
Jones is the problem. Jerry is once again taking full advantage of his dual titles of owner and general manager, thus he feels free to do things his way. Coach Jones interviewed ten candidates before his grand announcement that Wade Phillips would get the job. With Bum Jr. the cowboys get a yes-sir no-sir kind of guy, this should make the Redskins and Eagles real happy. Lets cut through all the stuff that sometimes ends up on the bottom of our cowboy boots. If hiring a NFL coach was an Olympic sport, Jerry Jones would never have made it to the starting blocks.
Jerry should have put me in charge of picking a new coach. I would not have interviewed anybody. I would have gone straight to Fox broadcasting and told their network people there is a national emergency, the cowboys need Jack Bauer of their TV program 24. Jack how long do you think it will take you to divert this disaster? "Give me 24 hours". Jack that's great news but how are you going to do it? "I am going to give a big bag of tee shirts to Rowdy our team mascot with instructions to load his bazooka with a double wad of tee shirts. Every time he sees that subversive element Terrell Owens running onto the field and dancing on the star, he will fire one right up TO's wa-zoo. With the subversive element eliminated we will win every game"
Just as it was with Parcells and all the other coaches under Jerry's ownership the Boys are back to the place where things have always been, with the owners hands in everything. Too bad for new head coach Wade Phillips, the Cowboys are in a lone star state but the stars name is Jerry Jones. Jerry you don't know JACK XXXX!!!!!!!!!