I'll trade you Chocolate for Sex

Most of the women who know me well, know that I have developed a sweet tooth since I stopped using alcohol several years ago. They all want to give me their left over Valentine candy. Most of them are more afraid of the three letter F word than they are of the four letter F word. They all think they will get FAT if they eat the whole box of candy their husband gave them during the annual ritualistic exchange of chocolate for sex.
I am no different than any other red blooded male. My brain is one big mush melon when it comes to sex or just trying to figure out what might increase my chances of even having sex. I think it's always been that way but never once did I think a box of chocolates could or would ease the fear a woman has of the four letter F word. Beside who wants a relationship based on chocolate, the days of Ozziet and Harriet are gone forever. Men always take the shortest and easiest way, expecting to score every time and we get mad when we don't. We figure that if we are slick enough to ease a woman's fear of the four letter F word, well that's fantastic. But if we can't so what, we didn't spend much on the box of chocolates any way!