A Sober Christmas

     Today I will set down to Christmas dinner with my family.  The special gathering will be a nice one but that was not always the case.  Before sobriety I dreaded Christmas dinner with the family.  Physically I was there but I really wanted to be off by myself with bottle in hand.  Angry, selfish, irritable and discontent best described me during family Christmas dinners.  Even  though I managed to show up somewhat sober I almost always had a hangover so I guess one could say I stole Christmas from myself for many years.  All the family members seemed so joyful but my joy did not arrive until I got home and put a bottle in my hand.  Bottom line I was not comfortable in my own skin and as special as Christmas is, it did not change the fact that I was uncomfortable setting at the Christmas dinner table.  Christmas after Christmas the special day was sheer yuletide misery.  Finally this garden variety alcoholic found sobriety.  Even today after many years of sobriety, no one is able to call me Mr Holiday Cheermister but I will definitely  enjoy the family Christmas dinner today.